You know just when I think things in my life are finally going to get better, that finally as if I passed a sick trial of survival these past 18 years reality hits me like a fucking train. My girlfriend decides she wants a 2 week break from me and is unsure if she wants to stay together with me, I got hired at a job and fired within 4 minutes of the introduction, My grandma's getting a surgery that could probobly end up killing her, I'm sure a friend of mine is extreemly angry I missed his birthday party...again, and I find out I can no longer paste anything in my email without it fucking up the whole computer program.
This summer was supposed to be the summer I worked my ass off and got off my ass and enjoyed my time instead of being isolated and alone like usuall, Guess thats just too big a hope for me.
You know how some people get the Luxury of having stress presented to them and gradually get t odeal with it? I don't. It all hits me at once, ties me to the ground with hot chains, and kicks me repeditivly in my groin. I legitematly feel like I might be a little anti-social, because right now I want to hurt someone in the cruelest way I can imagine. I want them to feel like I do all the fucking time! I'm fucking ugly as sin and short. My personality is stale and I have such a strong social phobia it impares me. Fuck, maybe I should have just listened to those assholes in middle school and just killed myself when I had the chance. I HATE life.